Thank you so much!

Due to many many reasons, but mainly heart-to-heart God issues, There will no longer be entries made at R-EO, though we hope you will continue to read through our old entries.

http://Rubyeyedokapi.com will be closed next month and will instead be https://rubyeyedokapi.wordpress.com – I am sorry if this saddens many people. There was much prayer in this decision over the past few months.

We truly want to encourage you all to continue to pursue Christ as He will ultimately change your lives and purify you as you continue to dig into the Word of God.

Our writers have their own blogs listed below (minus Lynsie). Please support and read their blogs!! Thank you! We love you!

Rachel’s blog: http://evenonesparrow.blogspot.com/
Laura’s blog: http://ruthseeksboaz.wordpress.com/
Victoria’s blog: http://justicepirate.com/
Rob & Victoria’s blog: http://therakisrant.wordpress.com/

Sincerely,
Victoria – R-EO co-founder
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” -1 Timothy 4:12

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Posted in Blogger, Christianity, godliness | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Where Are the Fathers?

A few weeks ago my husband and I saw a newly teenage girl who was very busty, walking around a public child-friendly area with a bikini top on.  You might think at first that this is the norm for teen girls to do once one has the ability to fill in a bikini; wanting to show it off, but she was with her family. Her father was with her and although it is good he was with her, my thoughts in my head were, “Doesn’t he realize the harm he might be bringing to his little girl?”, “Doesn’t he care if men lust after her or hold an image of her in their heads to return to later on for visual stimulation?”, “Doesn’t he know that girls her age are targeted and forced into prostitution?”

“My eyes will flow without ceasing, without respite, until the Lord from heaven looks down and sees; my eyes cause me grief at the fate of all the daughters of my city.” -Lamentations 3:49-51

I have had discussions with teen girls often throughout the years on the subject of bikinis and modesty. Many don’t think bikinis or the clothes they wear are immodest at all.  They don’t see a problem or their parents encourage the purchases of such clothing that they begin to think it is okay and acceptable to wear them.

I was recently having a conversation with a group of young women.  Two of them were sisters and explained to me about how their mom and dad are always very careful of what they allow them to wear that sometimes it is hard, but they see that their parents love them.  They have an amazing father who cares enough about them and is involved in their lives and helps them understand the Bible and modesty.  They understand the lure of their bodies to onlookers.  They know the power and damage of immodesty to those in the world and that they are to not be of the world, since they are children of the Lord.  Their father has helped them understand this.  This is the type of father that I rarely see existing today. This is a father that so many girls need in their lives.

A problem that I see occurring in many households (including Christian ones) is that the mother is in charge of the purchases of clothing for their teenage daughters.  One 16 year old told me her mom bought her a bikini, but her dad didn’t want her to have it, but her mom won out. This girl now has pictures of herself in bikinis throughout the internet no matter how many times I have lovingly advised her against immodesty.  If her parents give the okay, it’s okay, regardless of what God’s Word may say.  Fathers need to step up and tell their wives why they don’t want their daughters wearing bikinis!  A 15 year old girl told me that her dad does not like her wearing immodest clothes for reasons that I have told her, but her mom still slowly purchases her more immodest clothes and tells her to ignore her father’s opinions.  A 14 year old girl told me that in no way was she allowed to wear bikinis or immodest clothing at all no matter how much she wants to wear them. This is a good thing.

Do you see the pattern here? If you are a man and have daughters, start teaching them about immodesty and lust early on (well once they can understand it somewhat).  Start dressing them modestly while they are still young (such as not buying them baby bikinis).  Moms, hear out your husbands and try to understand what goes on in men’s heads that cause them to want to protect their daughters from men like they once were or men they might know who have sexual addiction and lust problems. Hopefully the men remember what it was like having heightened hormones as a teenage boy.

I shared with a number of young ladies over the past few months the following thought:  If you were on a beach filled with people and have their outward appearance to judge of what their hearts might be like, and you had to try to think of who may or may not be a follower of God, would the girls who claim to believe in Christ who are wearing bikinis look different from the ones who weren’t Christians wearing the bikinis? Could you really see a significant difference? If a few girls were seen in one pieces on the beach, do you think they would be more likely to be Christians? The answer for each of these are not proof, of course, since non-Christians do wear one-pieces, but my point is that if the norm for teenage girls is to look sexy and grab attention from teenage boys, like so many are out to do, would they be choosing a one-piece or a bikini? If you are out to get a boy’s attention rather than the attention of God, to live set-apart and make sure you do everything for His glory, which modesty is a part of that, then wouldn’t it be wiser to wear a one-piece? Are you longing to look good for guys or for God through your appearance? Which is more important (men or God)?

In reality men and boys will not look at women and girls and decipher if they are children of God or not, as man will only be worried about satisfying his passions of lust in his head/heart.  If he looks over at people on the beach, would he be more concerned about eyeing the females in one-pieces or the ones in bikinis?

One of the biggest ways this website is found is from people doing searches on the internet for phrases like “young girl in bikini”, “sexy teenagers in bikinis”, “13 year olds in bikinis”, “hot teenagers with breasts in little bikinis”.  They are probably so disappointed when they come to find this site talking against the idea of wearing them. I see all the hundreds of search results of how people find Ruby-Eyed Okapi, and every day there are results like this. That alone is proof that bikinis lead images of immodesty to the minds of men.  If there are so many people searching for these things on the internet, how many guys actually go to the beach to scope them out in action? No one has found this site by searching for “hot teenagers in one-piece bathing suits” or “One-piece babes”.  It is a terrible thing, but women and girls should be willing to help men out by caring better for the way they dress themselves.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” -1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Men, be fathers to your daughters and no matter what, think about telling them that because they are daughters of God and are placed in your care, and because you prize purity and godliness in their lives, that a bikini or immodest clothes is a way of fulfilling your fatherly duties and a part of your own obedience to the Lord.  This is the type of father they need! Guide them to a life filled with respect to God so that they also will want respect shown to them through how they appear or act.

photo credit: 1

Posted in appeal, bathing suits, breasts, Christianity, clothing, culture, distractions, God, godliness, lust, modest clothes, modesty, sex appeal, sexual exploitation, sexual sin, sexual temptation, sexuality, teenagers, teens, temptations | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Memories of Old Habits

Summer is quickly fading into the cooler days and nights of Autumn. The days pass by and time inches closer to “dorm move-in” day. I get giddy with the anticipation of seeing my friends, starting classes and getting back into a routine. I’m excited for how this new school year will enrich my faith, encourage my calling to the mission field and grow and deepen my relationship with Christ. However, as September rolls in, the more my struggle with lust hangs over me like dark storm clouds.

I took the time over the past few days to read through my journal entries that I kept from last semester and wow, my temptations with lust added an extra issue I had to deal with on top of all the normal study/write papers stress of a college student. In the spring, I was fresh off my trip to Cambodia where I saw first hand the sex industry at its worst. I came back repulsed and fearful with one eye always over my shoulder. After some PTSD counseling, I was feeling better, but soon started to lust worse than ever and I felt ashamed that I could go from one extreme to the other in such a short time.

The most beautiful illustration came last semester when not one, but three different professors of mine spoke about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. The visual of Jesus’ temptation and pressure in the garden being so grievous that he actually sweat blood (Hebrews 12:4). This scene described how Jesus understands the difficult temptations of life that literally cause us physical pain to turn down for God’s glory. I wrote in my journal back in February “that while it was a struggle to give up drugs for God, perhaps this illustration means more for my life – for the deeper more painful struggles, the ones that torment my mind. Satan uses my past sexual experiences to tempt me into sin.” I hadn’t yet resisted a temptation to the point of sweating blood, in fact more often I was giving into them and sinning.

It wasn’t until weeks later that God grabbed hold of me tighter. My devotional read, “Every difficulty and every temptation that comes our way, if we receive it correctly is God’s opportunity.” Those words spoke into my heart as did the book of Hebrews. I spent the remainder of the semester simmering on God’s words for how to overcome my sinful temptations. Everyday was a struggle, and some days I failed, but everyday I praised the Lord that I was a conqueror in Christ Jesus.

Then summer hit and as quickly as this issue I have with lust came, my issue with lust disappeared (or seemed to). When I’m put into a situation with attractive young single men, my eyes wander, my heart is evil and I have to try so hard to not be pulled down by that. But, during the summertime when there isn’t a single (godly) man in sight for months on end and the closest I get to a guy is my brother, lust isn’t even on my radar.

But, I know better though than to walk onto campus this year thinking my sinful temptations went away.

I have just 10 days and counting until I’ll be in close proximity to young men on fire for Jesus. Ah, my weakness (beards too & I hear they are back in fashion! haha.) Anyway, so I’ve come up with a plan of attack for the beast inside me (and the beast inside you) to make sure that we continue to overcome temptation and live lust free.

Preventing Lustful Behavior

  1. The best way I can think to win the battle against lust is to continuously work at a relationship with Jesus. This means praying, journaling and reading His word daily. It is only when one is well equipped that she can properly exercise control over a situation.
  2. Know your triggers. This is so important. I have been figuring out my triggers for almost a year now, since I first discovered that I was even sinning in this way. For me when I see guys with tight pants or V-neck t-shirts (with chest hair sticking out) my antennas all begin to buzz. When I glance and notice something like this and it peaks my interest, instead of continuing to stare (knowing I might lust), I need to recognize it and consciously look away to avoid sinning.
  3. Write down a list of times you remember having control over your temptations of lust and times when it was more difficult. This is helpful for utilizing healthy coping skills in the future to overcome lust issues.
  4. Also, plan on getting an accountability partner. I kind of had one last year, but she (yes, same sex or accountability goes right out the window) was not consistent. This time around, I’m hoping to lock in on a consistent accountability partner who will ask the hard questions that no one else wants to and find out if I am struggling and offer to pray with me. This type of relationship will be super helpful.
  5. Plan on getting your group of friends involved. Last year my friends all admitted that we struggled in the area of lust. (This is no surprise to me, women struggle with lust and porn more frequently than I believe studies suggest.) Pray that all conversations can stay clean and uplifting, not focusing on sins or temptations in the gossip sense, but more centered around prayer to overcome them.
  6. I did a lot of research into my past history with my issue of lust and I do believe for anyone who struggles – there may be deeper reasons why. This is something that’s important to figure out. When did this battle start? What triggered it? Satan knows our weaknesses, but nothing it too hard with God!
  7. Lastly, have steps to use when you encounter a temptation:
    1. Look away/Don’t focus on the temptation
    2. Pray and recite scripture (1 Corinthians 10:13 is always a good one!)
    3. Call your accountability partner
Posted in accountability, back to school, Christianity, culture, distractions, God, lust, men, prayer, purity, sex, sexual addiction, sexual sin, sexual temptation, sinfulness, temptations, women | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, & Life Together book review

Mark & Grace Driscoll are not new to me and my husband Rob.  We were introduced to The Peasant Princess series by some friends a couple of years ago and watched it together.  At the end of each of those sermons, Grace was brought out and the two of them answered marriage questions.  We then read Mark Driscoll’s book Doctrine together and then watched the sermon series that went along with it.  Rob and I each have read two other Driscoll books on our own.  We regularly listen to Mark Driscoll’s sermons and appreciate the gospel being preached in a truthful and loving way.  When we saw that this book was being released written by the couple, we were excited about reading it together.  Without expressing our desire to read it to her, my mom bought it for us as a gift when she was at the Christian bookstore (we have had her listen to some of Pastor Mark’s sermons too).

Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together begins with a warning of how to read the book and what was in mind while writing it.  Although the book is written mainly to married couples, it could be very helpful and a bit of a training manual for someone who hopes to marry.

The first chapter is called “New Marriage, Same Spouse”.  We get a picture of the people that Mark & Grace were before they married and into their beginning years of marriage and how they may have improved and learned from their mistakes.  They are very open and humble themselves by confessing their faults, their hopes, their difficulties, and struggles.  They try to encourage the readers with ways to be able to grow together as a couple so their marriage can be revitalized as theirs was.

“Friend with Benefits” is a chapter that discusses how a marriage should include a deep friendship. This chapter shares the wonderful examples of Martin Luther & his wife Katherine.  I honestly didn’t know that he even married, so this was very interesting to me.  I was best friends with Rob before we started dating, and have always voiced the importance of forming a friendship with someone you are interested in possibly marrying, for it is easier to be honest with them and share your heart with them as well as be able to know their heart so you can forgive one another when wrong is done.  Throughout the chapter the Driscolls share an acrostic for the word FRIENDS: how to be Fruitful, Reciprocal, Intimate, Enjoyable, Needed, Devoted, and Sanctified.  They used Biblical reference throughout each part of the acrostic.  This was probably my favorite chapter in the book.

Chapter three was written primarily for the men to try to teach them how to be good husbands. It is called “Men and Marriage”, written by Mark.  He gives a bit of a human history lesson with the expectations of a man, but through a biblical perspective using scriptural references.  He shares what he notices about today’s cultural version of man and what your wife may think of you as a husband, how you should respect and honor her through your finances, how you talk to her, how you treat her emotionally and physically, and even technologically.  Throughout the chapter he tries to encourage men to be men, not little boys, to be involved in a church and how to lead the home. It was really beautiful!

It was obvious that chapter four was going to be written by Grace for the women. “The Respectful Wife” helps correct the wrong feminist vision that many women may get about being submissive to explain how a woman is not to be a floor mat for a husband to wipe one’s feet upon. Grace gives us an example of Esther.  She also writes about what Respect means through how you think, feel, and act.  She encourages that if you disagree with your husband, it should be done with respect according to the definition given earlier on.  There was a lot written against abuse and it is a very complimentary chapter to what Mark wrote to the men.

“Taking Out the Trash” begins with a bang on repentance and forgiveness. When you have two sinners who come into a marriage who have not dealt with their personal issues or shared their own issues before entering their marriage, they are bound to have conflict.  Likewise, because each person is imperfect, there will be conflict.  We learn more about Jesus and His perfection but how He loved and forgave us for our sins.  Page 91 states, “Therefore, our forgiveness of our spouses has very little, if anything, to do with them.  Instead, it has everything to do with God.  As an act of worship, we must respond to our sinful spouses as God has responded to our sin – with forgiveness – because it is a gospel issue.  We cannot accept forgiveness from God without extending it to our spouses.”   The chapter closes on bitterness and a good fight. We get to learn from the poor example of a marriage filled with bitterness from John and Molly Wesley, which surprised me, because I always heard him held up on a pedestal, though knew nothing of his personal life (just his Methodology). Charles Wesley, John’s brother had a loving and enjoyable marriage and the chapter ends with the words of one of his songs that can be used as a prayer for marriage.

In entering the second portion of the book, we get to learn about sex, a favorite subject for many people.  Chapter six is entitled “Sex: God, Gross, Or Gift?”  brings us back to the beginning of how God intended sex when Adam and Eve were created and the beauty of sex between them as God marries the two of them.  Sinful sex is mentioned and how “the Greek word porneia (from which we get the word pornography) is translated into English as ‘sexual immorality’ and encompasses all sorts of sexual sins.  It is frequently used as a junk drawer in which every sort of perversion is thrown because people are prone to invent new ways of doing evil.”    The great thing that I always love about the Driscolls, is how they always express how we need to make our spouse our “standard of beauty” and not society’s version of what beautiful is.  Throughout the chapter we learn how sex is a god and controls people and makes them make it so important that it has become a form of idolatry, which is what we often talk about on this site.  The chapter explains that “worship is offering our bodies as a living sacrifice” as mentioned in Romans 12:1, which is exactly what people give into in regards to sexuality today.  We learn about how some people view sex as gross and make it as if it is only as a use for procreation.  Of course this concept of sex being used only for procreation is destroyed in Song of Songs and Proverbs as well as the fact that we all have the ability for orgasms. This goes into how Sex is a gift in marriage: for pleasure, for creating children, for oneness, for knowledge of one another, for protection in marriage against temptations into other sexual sins, and even for comfort.

Chapter seven is called “Disgrace and Grace”.  More honesty is revealed by the Driscolls about their own marriage and I love how you can see the love they have for one another and how through their vulnerability, they are willing to grow through their oneness in marriage.  This chapter is mainly about dealing with our pasts through what we may have possibly gone through regarding being in previous relationships or gone through sexual abuse.  There are helpful ways we can get through those stories of our pasts and grow and help one another.  Many people have been sexually abused in their pasts, and this chapter will be extremely insightful and helpful to those people.  What do you do as a spouse married to someone who was abused? How can you, as an abused person work through your pain, guilt, shame, and other feelings?  This chapter covers those questions with very lovely responses.

Chapter eight is one that Rob and I started to disagree with the Driscolls over.  We agreed on the whole book until this chapter called “The Porn Path”, because what did not make sense to us was that it was mentioned about the sinfulness regarding pornography and how it destroys marriages, but that Mark Driscoll, who said he looked at porn as a child, but that he never had grown to continue and lead into that sinful life, seems to be in denial that watching “non-sexual nudity” in movies or seeing it in art was not considered porn unless you lusted after it.  Rob, being a recovering lust and porn addict for nearly two full years without falling back into those sin, while he had been heavily into pornography in his past – mainly soft-core pornography where women are still dressed in clothes, stated to me that any man who has been in sexual addiction in his past, and has been freed from it will indeed say that nudity, even in “art”, is a problem (and he has known quite a lot of guys who had porn addictions worse than him).  Rob often brought up while reading this chapter aloud to me, how pornography means “imagery with the intent to arouse sexually”. If a woman is dressed to arouse, she alone is considered pornography, especially because Pastor Mark states how men are visual and take mental photographs.  When a woman is in underwear, she is indeed going to arouse.  Nudity is so much more arousing.  While I once had the same mindset about “non-sexual nudity” as Pastor Mark shared; Rob says because Pastor Mark never had that drive towards pornography, he does not understand the force of lust that goes along with it. My response is that since according to 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, which was a passage they used in the next chapter even, states that a man’s body belongs to his wife and her body belongs to her husband’s, if I were to have a picture of myself nude without any sexual intent and shared it with someone, I would be in sin for allowing someone other than my own husband to look upon my body, even if that man were not lusting after me which is what is being done in movies that include “non-sexual nudity”.  This is the mindset that Rob and I have on this issue. While perhaps to some people, no lust is induced when looking at the statue of David or nude women statues in a museum or paintings, those bodies are not for us to see, but were for their spouse to enjoy and see alone, but they sinned by allowing us to view them. I used to actually love looking at what was called “erotic nudes” when I was 18 years old and had a subscription to a certain site that would send me updates with new photography for it. Although I was not tempted to sin by looking at these things, and thought them “tasteful” at the time, I started to notice that there were images I would look at longer and these were just photos of say a nude man sitting on a chair or a woman laid out on the grass as a naked man sat next to her. These things started to turn me on by seeing how beautiful these people were and how their bodies looked. I had to stop looking at them and removed my subscription after a few months, but I still have these images in my head, especially my favorite from that time that I wish I could erase completely.

Back to this chapter however, it is explained how the chemicals in one’s brain function through a sexual act which can form a porn addiction.  I had learned about these chemicals when I read Michael Leahy’s Porn Nation, but what was really interesting in the Real Marriage book, was that the Driscolls wrote, “In the best sense of the word, God intends for a devoted married couple to be ‘addicted’ to each other, bound together in every way.  Tragically when the source of this binding is someone or something other than one’s spouse, the person becomes so habituated to the pleasures it brings that it leads to an addiction.  This explains why, for so many men, pornography becomes a neurological pathway to sinful masturbation and addiction that becomes increasingly difficult to escape as each new ‘high’ causes the path to become a deep rut.  This also explains why God intends sexual pleasure to be experienced solely within marriage. “
The chapter includes information about how porn desensitizes our culture and what we allow in our home and allow our eyes to see.  I don’t want to give away the rest of the chapter, but it is very good and insightful and filled with information that people need to learn about.  It also talks quite a bit about lust.

Sex often includes a lot of emotions of selfishness.  In “Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers”, it is expressed how we cannot enter a marriage expecting sex to revolve around our personal wants and needs, but to think about the other person and how to please them sexually.  Many times people divorce because of sexual reasons (be it affairs, pornography, etc).  This stood out to me the most in this chapter, which was brought up in Pastor Mark’s Peasant Princess sermon series as well: “The experts tell us that no less than 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce by year seven.  If you have ever heard of the seven-year itch, it is apparently true.  While there can be biblical grounds for divorce, the painful truth is that most marriages end simply because of selfishness on the part of one or both spouses.  selfish people who divorce without dealing with their selfishness then remarry only to repeat the first seven years of selfishness with another person and are more likely to divorce yet again.  Why? Because a selfish person who changes spouses has not changed his heart.”
The chapter gives encouraging examples of how you can try to work on being less selfish and more selfless in your marriage and in the bedroom; with reasons for why we are selfish lovers and ways that we are selfish lovers.  The chapter ends about how to be visually generous to your spouse using great descriptions through Song of Songs 6:13-7:13.

In the closing chapters, there is a q&a area in which the Driscolls answer questions that are pretty private and sometimes hard to ask in regards to what you as a Christian should or shouldn’t do in the bedroom together.  They are pretty good at giving answers without being too detailed and staying away from perversion.  Their point of this section is to make sure that as a married couple, you should be comfortable and willing to say if something doesn’t make you comfortable, and to be careful to keep things within a biblical standard.  The book ends where husband and wife can spend time getting to know each other more deeply by answering vasts amounts of great questions based on what the entire book discusses.

It felt good to finally finish this book (we spent six months reading through it together, since we tend to want to read our own books instead of reading aloud back and forth).  Although we had a few things we may not see eye to eye on with the authors, we saw the Holy Spirit flowing through the pages of this book, and the love of God longing to help a lot of couples who need to communicate and understand one another intimately with how God intended life for a married couple.

I’m going to give the book a 3.75 rating out of 5 stars!! Rob gave it a 4 out of 5 star rating!!

Posted in book review, Christianity, love, Mark Driscoll, marriage, pornography, relationships, scriptural, sex, sexual addiction, sexual content, sexual sin, sexuality, sinfulness | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Should You (or Your Teen) Watch This?: Gossip Girl

The culture we live in is inescapable.  It is important to be living a holy and set-apart life as a child of the Lord, but we do need to understand why something might have a hold or influence on others.  As I listen to young women on facebook, tumblr, in person, etc talk excessively about various films and T.V. shows, I believe it is important to understand why it might be so “great” to them.

I started watching through the episodes of Gossip Girl (painfully).  The plot follows a bunch of teenagers from NYC who are well-to-do.  All of their activities get posted on a website called “Gossip Girl” to cause you to possibly live in their drama or feel better about yourself. Everyone talks about everyone else in the show.

What does the Bible say about Gossip?
“And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done.  They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.” -Romans 1:28-32

Here’s a sum up of the way these teens and eventually young adults throughout the show act.

Serena: She was known as a party animal who was involved in being sexually easy, drinking all the time (getting drunk and being underage while drinking), and doing drugs.  She decides she wants to change her life, but the only problem is you still see her drinking (responsibly, but underage which is illegal) throughout the show.  She tries to form relationships with guys before she has sex with them, but it doesn’t bother her to sleep with men as soon as able to, and if they don’t right away she gets worried.  She wears very immodest clothing and is sometimes seen in her underwear in the show.  She tries to be a good friend to others and is pretty nice to all people.  She has a hard relationship with her mom because she had been married many times and didn’t spend enough time with her. She hadn’t seen her father for many years and wants his attention and love as well.  One great thing about Serena is that she does give a girl a pep talk about how she wishes she didn’t lose her virginity because it really is special. Of course she makes it seem like since she lost it, it is okay for her to sleep with many guys. She was even involved with a young married politician on the show.

Blair: She loves being rich and controlling of others. She is selfish and wants her own way all the time.  At one point she gets tired of being a virgin that she decides to strip her clothes at a burlesque and gives her virginity to a guy who is a “tool” and a womanizer who owns the burlesque even though he’s only 17.  Blair is conniving and has a hard time dealing with her parents because her mom doesn’t give her enough attention and her dad ran off with another man across the ocean.  She seems to have a better relationship with her maid than anyone.  Though she doesn’t sleep around too often, she does sleep with multiple guys and is not married, she is seen the most in her underwear throughout the show.  She also swears more than the other girls on the show.  She tries most of the time to stick with the guy she lost her virginity to because he’s the one she’s loved the most and longest, but she had dated other guys around him.

Dan: Known as “Lonely Boy” when gossip is spread. He’s always had a thing for Serena and seems to be head over heels for her, losing his virginity to her.  However, he also has a best friend who is a girl who has been in love with him for a long time and he does date a few other people on the show including Blair for a time.  He is the intellect who has a good relationship with his father, though not so much with his mother.  One high point in his character is that a girl he slept with makes him believe she’s pregnant with his child.  He actually helps raise the child for a time and is all for taking up responsibility which is really good, even when he learns that it is not his child, because he loves it.  The worst moment for him is that he has a threesome with his best friend and a girl he was dating at the time who happens to be Hillary Duff, a former clean-cut Disney girl (Lizzie McGuire).  Regardless of everything, he always seems to have Serena in the back of his head.

Nate: He cheats on his girlfriend Blair in the beginning of the show with her best friend Serena (who felt horrible about it and it was part of why she wanted to change).  However, he’s always supposedly been in love with her (so according to his side of the story, that makes it okay).  He goes back and forth with Blair and Serena and has a few other girls mixed up in it. He sleeps with them all.  He had an affair with a married woman for a few months who gave him money for sex in order to help save his family who lost most of their money.  He cares for others but seems to be the character who has the easiest time going from person to person. His problem with his parents is his dad was caught being a con and drug addict. He does love his father.

Chuck: The playboy and rich boy who throughout the show makes it seem like he can get whatever he wants because he’s who he is.  He is more than fine about the idea with sleeping with loads of girls without feelings, and as many at a time as he can at once.  Then he falls for Blair. She becomes the reason for him to live and loves her wholeheartedly and changes for quite a long time until a while later. He is often seen with half-naked women.  He also drinks a lot but responsibly but illegally (underage).  He just wants his father’s affections and loves his dad and wishes he knew his mom who died giving birth to him.  He is very much like Blair but becomes a little more caring for others over time.   It seems like the only person he never sleeps with is Serena, who does become his step-sister for a time until he becomes adopted as her brother.

Jenny: The most annoying character throughout the show for me who isn’t in it after a few episodes through Season 4.  She is talented and makes beautiful clothes and wants to fit in and be rich.  Her brother is Dan, whom she has a good relationship with. She constantly lies and disobeys her loving father. She whines and complains and wants things her way. She steals a few times as well.  She dates a drug dealer and deals as well. She is seen taking her clothes off, in her underwear alone as a real-life teen which is very bothersome.  She decides to lose her virginity to Chuck to pretty much get it over with and is shown very upset and realistically destroyed by her choice, which I think is good.

Vanessa: Dan’s best friend since childhood. She seems to be a great person who cares for others. She loves Dan and eventually Nate and then Dan again. She has sex with both as well as Chuck. She has a threesome and is seen kissing Hillary Duff. She’s seen in her underwear as well.  She can’t stand Serena over time, because she seems to be the one that Nate and Dan both love and it drives her crazy that they each seem to choose Serena over her.  She is even willing to be a part of a conspiracy to drug Serena and deceive others when it comes to Serena.  She doesn’t seem to have a good relationship with her parents. She leaves after season 4.

Eric: Serena’s brother. He seems to be the most stable person throughout the series, though he was suicidal in the first season and was in a rehab. Eventually he lets is be known that he is gay. Although he is seen having boyfriends, they never show him physical with guys at all, that I recall, nor do they mention him being involved with them sexually.  He takes a huge liking to his last step-father Rufus (Dan and Jenny’s dad) but has a hard time with his mother still.

Georgina: She is always up to scheming and making problems for people. She drugged Serena once and used to be her party buddy before Serena changed her life a bit.  She pretended to be someone she wasn’t to get back at Serena and win over Dan to take him away from Serena.  She became a Christian and seemed lovely but backslid.  She did help get stolen money back once.  She got pregnant and had the baby, though lied about the father.  She really only despises Blair. She eventually marries

As for the two main adults throughout the show, Lily and Rufus: They have an affair while he is separated from his wife, they have a long drawn-out history with each other, so much so that they had a child out of wedlock together put up for adoption (which is cool) when Lily was a teenager.  In time they do get married on the show but sometimes they separate and have issues because of Lily’s tactics at times where she is similar to her own mother, whom she used to hate as a teen.

What do I get from this series? Everything that the verse above warns us to not be involved in is in this show. Keep in mind that teenagers who watch shows like this are easily swayed to think the way they see things on a regular basis. It can break them down into believing culture’s lies instead of wanting to live in God’s truth.

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